Critter1F, PiCritter5

~8o()

Shaking my booty. Dancing, yeah!

"The Aliens should be appreciated, if only because of their wonderful dancing skills" - Some dude.
"I think the key to world peace, is for everyone to live, not in houses, but in teepees" - Some other dude.

Alphanumericology

Betty Boop

Green Lightning

Gradient Purple

Human noses

"Why Aliens Will One Day Rule Us!" by Enk op Toop la Newk

Mars Attacks

Space Battleship

Freecell

Gorgenblatten

Love Shack, by the B-52's

Hmmm... I really and honestly believe that crant is the best feeling there is...so powerful most humans can't even experience it.

Telepathy

Humans...taste the best, and they obey.

Star Trek

When Gorfon smashed his finger in the Anti-Lateral Conductor door, that was a hoot!

TeeHee

The Gorfon thing was funny...but the absolute funniest, was when I was watching the anti-matter tube, and there was this game show on. And there was my dad! It was the hundred loran question, which was "Which of the following would you expect to have to kick out of your yard, on the planet Kilone?"
A) A dog B) A Tangoon C) A Walrite or D) A Kompale

now, everyone knows the answer is a Walrite, but my dad, being the stupid person he is, guessed Dog!!! I couldn't believe the hilarity of my dad being that incredibly stupid! Ah, I lauged for months...

When people don't show proper respect to me! Like all members of the planet Criterion, we are better than humans, and so humans should show proper respect, by kissing my feet, and sniffing my arms...but do humans do that? NOOOOOOOO Only one human has ever made an attempt! That was Olivia Wong...but she ended up sniffing my armpits instead of my arms...and then, she slowly moved back shouting "Hey! You're not Ochs!" I was so confused...but at least she tried...

I'm Critter! I'm Mercury-X's mascot (Watch me here - http://www.mercury-x.net/mercurymascot.html -beware, big file size) I am, as you can tell, incredibly sexy, (not taken, but if you're human...bug off) I like long walks in the parks, and nightime strolls on the beach.

Rug..Crit, Creep, Sexy, and...although I'm embarassed to share it, my dad once called me Gaffanooginlanat, which if you were from Criterion, you would know is a really mean thing to call a son there...

Poopoo Head...Dork, Not Worth the Air he breathes, hm...and Gaffanooginlanat

29

Hopefully by this point I will have worked my way up into the FBI, or CIA, atleast the LAPD...and continuing my plan to dominate this pitiful planet

Engaged to some beautiful Criterion, just elected to the Senate, where I will have access to Military power, and US Secrets....

By this point, I have taken over all of earth, everyone will be my slaves, and feed my grapes daily...or strawberries. And instead of people watching me dance, people will dance for me...

Full of Power, respected, as any alien should be, and hopefully happily married with a few little critters of my own...

1. That everyone would acknowledge my superiority
2. That I didn't have to p...well...use the restroom, sitting down.
3. Well, I really want one of those leather chairs, that you see on tv, that recline, and massage, and vibrate, and have a fridge attached to them,

You love me! You really love me! Oh wait...this isn't my acceptance speech...yes well...prepare for domination...everyone get ready...your time will be soon...heh

PEOPLE!! QUIT BEING SO DANG INCONSIDERATE!! And unfaithful...the other day, this one guy told me, that he didn't think I'd ever take over the world...ha...me!!! He didn't think I'd take over the world!! Well, I showed him! Didn't I!? Didn't I!?!?!? That's right...he's now picking fungus off of my feet! Ouch! He bit me...stupid inconsiderate little slave...I should have his teeth for that...but then he'd have trouble getting the fungus off. Anyway, so as I was saying, I hate the US Airplane system! Put on your seatbelt, if you need assistance we'll have someone help you! Like anyone that hasn't been in a car in the past 60 years doesn't know how to put a seatbelt on!!! And the exits!! Please use the exits to the front and rear of the plane... If the plane splits in two...can I go out the gaping hole in the center of the plane? Alright thanks... in case of a need of a floating device, use the blow up things, they'll keep you afloat... if we get in a crash, can I use the bodies of dead people to help me float too? Gosh, so many more possibilities, and they don't tell me hardly any of them! Sheesh! And I hate the Warranty's on items. 3 year warranty...you know the item wont break in those three years..it will break in 3 years and one day...all the warranty's do are tell you when the things gonna break! MAKES ME SICK!! I also don't appreciate how you humans treat cows...they are the most superior beings on this planet, and you treat them like filth! YOU EVEN EAT THEM! I'm so disgusted...you all resemble cattle to me, I'll round you up and eat all of you!!!! HEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHEHOHOHOHOHOHUHUHUHUH wait a minute...who laughs with Hu's...Haha...yeah, that works, hehe, yeah...hoho...santa...but huhu? maybe owls...And one last thing I need to rant about...calling Coke...pop...every drink in the universe, as mandated by the national commitee of good drinks, must be called the name it is given (IE: Sprite, 7-up) or it must be called Coke...you can't call anything a soda, or a pop, unless that is it's explicit name! Obey the laws people! Sheesh! And remember, if you live in Iowa, you can't kiss for more than 5 minutes...it's illegal...I think it's because the state legislature can't get kissed for that long, (even though most politicians seem a little too long winded) anyway...have a good day everyone...hahahahehehehhhuhuhu...doh...