Comment on this, Blockheads! Monday, December 4, 2000
Once upon a time, there was a poor young soul who inadvertently named himself "Blockhead." This resulted in many people calling him "Blockhead," for they believed in calling a person by their name.
Blockhead did not thoroughly enjoy being labeled "Blockhead," whereas this would have a mildly offensive effect on any person who was called such. So, Blockhead was on a mission. It was of utmost importance that his name transformed into something other than "Blockhead." How he was going to bring about this transformation, he had no idea, because the first time he named himself, it was an accident, much like when you crash into a parked car going 10000 mph with no intention of doing so. Blockhead starts with the basics: he calls his local city hall and asks the secretary how he should go about changing his name. Upon partially listening to Blockhead's question, the secretary claims that a person should be proud of the name he or she so fatefully owns, and never go about changing it. Blockhead decides that people related to areas of politics should not let personal influences guide them in their work, and then he moves on to his second plan: surreptitiously changing his name and leaving all other parties unaware of the change. By leaving them out in my name change, surely they will see how I despise them for calling me "Blockhead", thought Blockhead. Unfortunately, Blockhead did not think this strategy all the way through, for everybody was not taken aback at his exclusive actions, and nor did they cease to poke fun at him. It is about this time that Blockhead meets Boobface, and decides his name isn't so bad after all. From that point forward, he survives a confident life until he dies.